You don't need to wait 20 lbs to start loving yourself

I had dinner a couple nights ago with two former coworkers.  Within the first three minutes of arriving, one of my friends had told us that she has lost ten pounds - in two weeks.  I’ll also mention here that this friend doesn’t need to lose a pound. She is - and has always been - quite thin, but healthy. But that’s not the point.

In these situations, there is only one socially acceptable response. “Oh wow, good for you” “That’s so great!” “How’d you do it - you look fantastic” - and the like.  So…why do we do it? Are we as women really so insecure that we need to make statements which will elicit predictable responses just to build up our self-esteem, not to mention potentially making others feel worse in the process?  What’s wrong with this picture?

I work with primarily women, and it is amazing the number of times each day that someone comments on their weight, their diet, or their need to lose {insert number here} pounds. It has gotten to the point that these comments really make me angry.  I don’t do anything outwardly, of course, but inside, I SCREAM. Is this still where we are? Why do women still judge their worth based on their dress size or their scale reading? I know this topic is not new, but come ON, ladies. There are so many more important issues!

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I need to lose a few pounds. Do I obsess about it? No. Why not?  Because I think that loving myself is more important than torturing myself to adhere to a ridiculous societal standard. And, I have found that in loving myself, I want to be healthier. But not because “healthier” can mean skinnier (and it doesn’t always), but because I simply want to be happy, and loving myself is the first step. But here’s the crazy thing - you can love yourself just as you are. Just. as. you. are. Right now.  Not twenty pounds from now. Not when you get abs.  Right. Now.

You don't have a soul.  You are a Soul.  You have a body.  ~C.S. Lewis

You are not your body. Health is important - very important. We should all strive to take care of our bodies, but loving yourself is the first step to health. Let’s be honest - most people doing the “diet of the moment” or starving themselves are not doing it because they love themselves. They are doing it because they think it will make them happy - they’ll attract men, get the job, “fit in,” etc.

I’m starting to actually think that we haven’t moved the needle at all. Despite some media efforts and great campaigns like Dove’s Campaign for Real Beauty, culturally, we haven’t changed at all. If anything, it’s getting worse.

I’ve had multiple people in my life battle eating disorders. I’ve certainly had my share of insecurities and body image issues. Unfortunately, that is the norm for any woman - or young girl - today.

How do we change it? How do we change the minds - and more importantly, the hearts - of millions of women? How do we change the messages that young girls are constantly bombarded with?

Unfortunately, much of this is out of the control of the everyday woman. But what is in our control? The way we talk. The comments we make about ourselves. Treating our size and outward appearance as the first and foremost descriptor of ourselves.

(credit: totalbeauty.com)

Is it really the worst? Personally, I want to be known for the kind of person I am and strive to be. If someone thinks of me, I hope they think of my spirit and (hopefully good) qualities - and not of my body type. Until society changes - and hopefully, one day, it will - I am going to focus on making sure I show people that I see their self - their characteristics and qualities that make them who they are. It's a small step, but if it starts to shift even one mind, I'll gladly take a million small steps.