Grief, Death, & Purpose

Lately, when someone I know or love passes away, I find myself asking myself - “Am I grieving the right way? Is it ok to feel the way I do?”  Is there a right way to grieve?  I think most would probably say no.  Death brings about such a bizarre compilation of emotions - shock, sadness, confusion, regret, awareness, sorrow, longing, even joy at the soul’s newly found peace.  How we digest and embrace these emotions, how they settle in our minds and in our bones, dictates our outward reaction.  Mine always seems to settle back in the same place:  If he is gone, but I’m still here, then I haven’t fulfilled my purpose yet in this life.  What is that purpose? How do I find it?  How do I know when I've found it?  And what happens after I do?

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows. - Pope Paul VI

The death of someone we know always reminds us that we are still alive – perhaps for some purpose which we ought to re-examine. - Mignon McLaughlin

Letting go through prayer

The following quote has really been speaking to me this weekend:

"Prayer is, at its heart, a remembering. We pray in order to remember who we are and who God is. In prayer we are able to see the bigger picture and know that we are in this world but not of it. Life on earth is temporary and fleeting, and while we are encouraged to make the most of our time here, in prayer we remember that our ultimate home is with God in heaven. It puts everything into perspective. As you continue your practice of prayer this Lent, allow the long view it offers to relieve your worry, ease your pain, and know that all is well."

I can get so wound up about the here and now, worrying about things out of my control.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, I'm really focusing on letting go - it's amazing the peace that comes with this!  I'm fortunate to be surrounded by a few people in my life right now who are really helping me with this.  So I've been thinking a lot about the "big picture" and keeping things in perspective.  At the end of the day, this life is but a blip on the screen of eternity.

Wine bottles

I threw away six wine bottles tonight.  No, I didn't drink them all.  Well, ok, I did, but a long time ago.  These six wine bottles have been with me in my past four homes.

Here's the backstory on these wine bottles:  They had labels from Hatch Show Print.

That's it.  That's the story.  I liked the way they looked and wanted to keep them for decorative purposes.  You were probably expecting a much better story, right?  While I do still have the cork from the champagne I popped with my friends when I got my first job in DC, these wine bottles have nowhere near the sentimentality.  And yet I kept them.  Through many kitchens and many cross-country moves.  Why?  I honestly have no idea.

Part of my attempt at simplifying my life is to systematically get rid of things that I'm hanging onto unnecessarily. Not just wine bottles (although I feel an odd weight lifted at the thought of not packing them for my next move), but expectations, fears, grudges, and yes, random crap I've accumulated.

My dear cousin texted me today and said "I felt prompted to tell you not to be afraid to step out on a limb and jump - and that it will be okay on the other side."  I loved seeing this message.  Good things are just a leap away...and I'm determined to make the leap lighter in all possible ways.