I've been trying to write this post for a week. I just couldn't reconcile it in my brain. I'm still not sure it says what I'm trying to convey, but I had to set it free from my mind...
When I was twelve or so, I couldn't wait to be 17. For some reason, that year was set aside in my mind that it was going to be fabulous. Maybe it was Tim McGraw singing about it, books I had read, or older girls I looked up to. Whatever it was, I knew it was going to be great. Well, seventeen came and went without fireworks. Nothing particularly bad happened that year, but it wasn't the blow-out year that life had led me to believe it would be.
I feel like my life is a continual cycle of that scenario. When I'm 22, this will happen. When I'm 26, this is going to be. 28…30…etc.
For the past 1-2 years, I've had more people than I can count ask me when I'm going back to school. Some assume I already have an MBA, others regale me with reason after reason why I should consider it - and sooner, rather than later. I actually agree with all of their points. It isn't that I don't WANT to do it. I actually like learning and school. The balance of time worries me, but really, that isn't even what is ultimately holding me back. I think it has do to with those unrealistic and fabricated versions of where my life is supposed to be by X age. And in a sense, I think I've been holding off on further education until I reach certain other milestones in my life. But if all my other "milestones" and age marks haven't come to pass as expected, why should this one? When do I throw out the life I thought I was going to have and pick up the one that's in front of me?
No comments:
Post a Comment